And then I created the heavens and the earth

So there I was, wide awake in the wee hours, and not a creature was stirring. I didn't feel like reading. Didn't want to watch TV. Or search through my purse collection for uncashed lottery tickets. Might as well be productive. Thus, I seal-coated the driveway, expanded the deck and tuck-pointed the chimney, which is really bizarre, because we don't have a chimney. My memory might be faulty on the other projects as well. If I seal-coated the driveway, I did a lousy job.

But I was restless, which is actually a natural state for me. Jeff constantly asks "can't you relax, even for a few minutes?" Ummm, no. This physical entity that is my body is a study in contrasts. I have the metabolism of a snail and the energy of a roadrunner. How is that even possible?

How could I have two fresh incisions and not a pinch of pain; enough anaesthetics coursing through my system to bring down a sumo wrestler, yet be wired hotter than a muscle car? I was searching for something meaningful to do at 3:30 am, when I noticed blood splotched on my pajama top. Well, there you go. Now I could play nurse.

The one gauzed incision site was fine, but the gauze over the lymph node-plucking incision was saturated. I carefully removed it and blood trailed down to my waist. That wasn't my biggest problem. I had fresh gauze. But no surgical tape. Unless this was magical levitating gauze, it was going to be about a two-second solution.

Jeff woke up, heard me in the bathroom and came in to assist. Ten minutes later, he had me mummified with a whole box of bandaids. I was pretty sure that gauze was going to be my most personal accessory for the next year.

That was enough adventure to earn a nap. I went back to bed and waited to get sleepy as my mind tried to decipher why did I get cancer. Not exactly a good topic to take on when you're hoping to drift off to sleep, but the mind goes where it wants to go and will not be sidetracked. Was this something I caused? Too much tuna in my diet? Did I stand too close to the microwave as I impatiently waited for the minute timer to ding? Sit too close to the TV as a kid -- was my mother wrong in warning "You'll ruin your eyes"? Should she have said, "You'll get breast cancer."

Aw, the hell with it. I went back to my old standby and mentally walked through my childhood home, room by room, and drifted off to a well-earned sleep after that hard day's work.